The #1 Rule for where to sit in a restaurant

On the human need for enclosure

I have this pernicious habit when I go to a restaurant to almost always ask for a different table than the first one I’m given. I might go to two or three more until it's just right. Usually my dining companions look at me like I'm nuts, but there is logic to my madness. There are objectively bad places to sit in almost all restaurants. Ignorant of their powers, restaurants often place tables seemingly at random, making patrons subconsciously uncomfortable in their midst. 

While choosing a table might seem like a trivial detail, it’s in fact a core part of the dining experience. The quality of a meal hinges on how comfortable one is while partaking. A bad table can ruin a night. A good table, on the other hand, can amplify joy.

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF A TABLE IS GOOD?

The number one rule for a good table at a restaurant is that you need to sit somewhere you can subconsciously feel safe. In practice this means that tables shouldn’t expose your back to the flow of traffic. If this is unavoidable due to the layout of a space, then the tables need to make sure someone else can gaze behind you so they can subconsciously “have your back.”

Many nice restaurants are designed terribly because they don’t take into account this one simple rule. They will expose a table to a main corridor, place it directly in the flow of traffic on the way to the bathroom, or even worse, open it directly to an entrance with no barriers between the guests and the flow of traffic. 

Let me explain with a few drawings:

Sometimes you can’t avoid having an exposed back to the flow of traffic, for example in a sidewalk cafe. In this case the rule is mitigated because the companions can “have others’ backs” by sitting opposite and observing the flow of traffic. This can make a noticeable difference in the experience, turning a “bad seat” with an exposed back into a neutral seat once you add someone opposite.

While this is a hard and fast rule, often people ignore it and willingly sit in places with an exposed back. For example in the picture below the woman drinking coffee has an exposed back to the flow of traffic on the way to a bathroom. Pretend you are sitting here and try to feel what it would be like. Would you feel comfortable?

In “A Pattern Language” Christopher Alexander refers to this rule as “the need for enclosure” and he describes it in the context of making a garden:

“Outdoors, people always try to find a spot where they can have their backs protected, looking out toward some larger opening, beyond the space immediately in front of them.”

While this is true of a park, it also applies anytime humans want to relax. And not only that, it extends beyond humans too…

CATS AND CHIMPANZEES ARE SIMILAR

Here is a picture of a chimpanzee at the San Francisco Zoo having his lunch. This is a huge room, but look at where and how he’s sitting: protected back, full view of the room. 

This pattern also extends to cats. Whenever my cat is resting he will seek out somewhere his back is not exposed. He almost never sits on a random floor (unless it’s sunny). Instead he is almost always looking to sit in a box or with his back towards a wall and, if possible, with a full view of the room. This is particularly true when eating.

HOW TO PROVIDE A SENSE OF ENCLOSURE

The main way that restaurants can solve this “need for enclosure” is by putting up barriers between where people sit and the flow of traffic. The barrier doesn’t have to be fully permeable, it just has to trick the mind into thinking it’s not fully exposed. Adding full walls between tables of course breaks up a space too much. So instead, restaurants can add semi-permeable barriers to make people feel more comfortable. Examples include trees, planters, bookshelves and other half-walls like in the photos below:

Similarly, restaurants can help patrons feel safer by adding semi-permeable barriers from other areas of activity (e.g., blocking the direct view to the bathroom, or the entrance). Here is example with permeable and semi-permeable barriers that make the tables feel much cozier and more welcoming for guests:

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Restaurants have the power to enhance every patron’s experience and make all tables “good tables.” At least in theory they can. Until then, you are now empowered to find a better place to sit.

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Running Postscript: Other restaurant rules of thumb

From my dad:

• If you’re in New York City, never accept the first table they give you. The good tables are often kept for someone that gives better tips so always try to move. The only reason to accept the first table you’re given is if the restaurant full.

• Don’t sit at an incline - always get tables on flat floors.

• No tables near bathrooms nor near kitchens (unless the kitchen is the main attraction in that restaurant).

• Check where the emergency exit is. Why? In case you need it!

• If you’re two people, always ask for a table for three so you can choose where to sit.

From Tyler Cowen: