How to Re-center

A quick step-by-step guide

Mar 17, 2023

An unexpected thing happened while on my writing hiatus this past month: when I stopped writing, I found myself losing my center and forgetting to slow down.

An unexpected benefit of having this newsletter with a stated purpose of not focusing on the news of the day, is that it forces me to step away from my work thoughts and reground in the beauty all around me. Without this weekly pause, it’s too easy to get lost.

Forgetfulness is the natural tendency of the mind. To quote Thich Nhat Hanh:

“Forgetfulness is the opposite [of mindfulness]._ We drink a cup of tea, but we not know we are drinking a cup of tea. We sit with the person we love, but we don’t know that she is there. We walk, but we are not really walking. We are someplace else, thinking about the past or the future. The horse of our habit energy is carrying us along, and we are its captive. We need to stop our horse and reclaim our liberty. We need to shine the light of mindfulness on everything we do, so the darkness of forgetfulness will disappear. The first function of meditation - shamatha - is to stop.”

It’s so easy to get caught in the fears and the challenges of work and whatever is happening around me. This is particularly true during bank runs, enormous storms, and power outages to name just some of the events from this last week... The mind becomes fearful and moves into a primal mode. But if I allow myself to get swept into the latest issue of the day, there is no end. There’s always new drama to carry me away. There is always a new distraction.

Stopping & recognizing this is the first step.

I then need to re-center.

Here’s a quick guide for present & future me to come back to

RE-CENTERING STEP BY STEP

STEP AWAY FROM THE SCREEN
1. Log out of social media and news apps. Delete them from your phone.
2. Put your phone far away. Keep it mostly in airplane mode or even better, just turn it off and put it in a drawer somewhere.
3. Go on Sabbath if you can.
4. If you need news, consume slower news like a magazine.
GO OUTSIDE
1. Get some sunlight
2. Work outdoors if you can.
3. Go for a long walk.
4. Get close to nature. Go see a beautiful part of a city.
5. Go somewhere with a lot of people living life.
MOVE YOUR BODY
1. Do exercise to give your body a jump start. Something like a 20 minute bike ride or 4 mile run. Intense exercise can sometimes be too much and over-exhaust you, so beware.
2. If you’re in an extra funk it’s helpful to do something with an instructor - try a Peloton class or even better, an in-person exercise class.
3. Slower yoga is great for centering - 30+ minutes can do wonders. When you finish, don’t rush back into busyness. Enjoy the slowness and try to lengthen it as much as you can.
IF YOU NEED TO SLEEP, SLEEP
1. If you’re tired, go to sleep.
2. Also if you’re tired, don’t take anything you’re thinking seriously. It’s just your mind messing with you.
SLOOOOOOOW DOOOOOOWN
1. BREATHE… THEN MEDITATE
  1. If your mind is too scattered it’s easier to focus on structured breathing rather than meditating: one option is to count breaths to 10 and then count backwards.
    1. Depending on where your mind is you can start with counting breaths off your fingers (e.g., bend one finger each breath to keep track).
    2. When your mind is more settled you can move to just keeping track in your mind without mental props. As you center more and more, then eventually remove the mental props and just enjoy…
    3. Remember it’s not a quick jump from active mind to settled mind. It takes time to get there.
  2. You know you’ve arrived when you enjoy each breath – calm like the ocean. You know you’ve arrived when you can see the telltale signs of mindfulness.
2. MOVE REALLY SLOWLY
  1. When doing things, do them slowly. Move in slow motion like molasses…
  2. Shift your gaze and have an awareness of things. Feel and tune into your senses.
3. MONOTASK
  1. Enjoy every single thing you’re doing and try to focus as much as you can.
  2. Eat mindfully.
  3. Step mindfully.
STOP. AND. LISTEN.
1. If you’re overly active you’ll most likely be caught up with your own worries - cycling inside your head. Force yourself to listen to others. Notice if you’re doing too much of the talking and if so, do the opposite.
2. Say hi to every person you encounter. Even a friendly smile or wave.
3. Go find a stranger and start a conversation, even if it’s just saying hi and smiling together.
BE GRATEFUL OUT LOUD. GET SOME PERSPECTIVE
1. Talk to yourself and actively remind yourself how lucky you are to have the blessings that surround you.
2. Remember simple mantras:
  1. Recognize “This is happiness”
  2. Tell yourself “This is the my favorite thing ever” and recognize that everything can be enjoyable.

And finally… once you slow down… rest in the slowness. And in the slowness, stop. Enjoy peace. Make it yours.

You are home.

You have arrived.

Be here now.

I plan on writing on this newsletter again. Maybe a little less frequently than before, but it’s clearly important to me and hopefully of value to some of you too.

🙏🏼

PS - The movie “Everything everywhere all at Once” won the Academy Awards. If you enjoyed it, you can see a review I wrote last year viewing it more through a semi-Buddhist lens: